Look

January 6, 1998

Forced deception
Invisible foundling
knows not of origin
or goals.
What is the destination,
What is the purpose?
Sometimes the deception
is deceiving itself
to find nothing but nothingness.

Clarity

January 6, 1998

Beauty floods me
as well as confusion.
If only a clear discrimination
could be made.
To continue or not,
to run and cower
in a corner
hiding from the shadow
of success, fearing to see
that which casts it.
I can see the beauty
but it is darkened
by the possibility of failure.
If only there could be
some insurance,
some clear understanding.

Rapport

January 7, 1998

Blissful elation flows
like an addicitve narcotic
The largest dose I've had
In what seems like eternity.
I must continue this exposure
to the source of this power
that allows me to smile truly.

Ephamy

January 12, 1998

deeply burning
colours swirling
cloud my mind
and all I might find
confused and dejected
all I do is rejected
by those who don't care
and those who don't dare
accept me for me
and all I want to be

Stifling

January 12, 1998

Hate overflows
and nearly overwhelms
my best attempts
to keep my ideals
mine own
This blackened state
both frightens and enlightens me
scaring myself and comforting
simultaneously.

Erosion

January 17, 1998

The bleeding colours
run off the empty slate
full of mistakes and denials
wearing all pretensive blends
down to the wooden frames
that support the frail and fragile
dissensions of understanding.

Adagio

January 19, 1998

Slowly descending
into the blue endeavours
of my soul
looking for the beginning,
that I might find
the start of the
crimson blindness and
cool it to a softer violet.
safer, softer sounds
fill my mind, glowing embers
douse my sullenness and
drown the endless breath
of falling without comfort or
closure found in my direction
of the inevitable fated everything
that is denied the existence
of being.

Discovery

January 26, 1998

The beauty fall and flows
through the centre of itself
and wraps around
its sweetness creating a new whole
through which only persistence
can discover the loss and the gain
of a loose discovery in the founding
of the wrapped beauty and the
bitter sweetness of self-government

Exist

January 27, 1998

If you have something to say,
say it.

If you have something to sing,
sing it.

If you have something to think,
think it.

If you have something to do,
do it.

If you have something to be,
be it.

You never know what you'll say
until you've said it

You never know what you'll sing
until you've sung it

You never know what you'll think
until you've thought it

You never know what you'll do
until you've done it

You never know what you are
until you become yourself

Demand life.

Quadriblind

January 28, 1998

A weary Priest sits at the window
staring at the blackened sky.
he doesn’t know what he’s looking for
nor even wonder why.

The lonely Woman eats alone
sitting in a lonely room.
she sits in wait for someone
to break the surrounding gloom.

A small Boy is playing outside
but he stops to hear a sound.
he begins to look around him
in hopes the source is found.

The Artist sits at his desk
forever writing for his name.
he can’t remember what it was
nor from whence it came.

Vision

February 3, 1998

Sleeping
Doubtless wonder
Overwhelms the breath
and sight of all
surrounding

Night enfolds
the darkness with light
opening the blackest vision
into that which can be seen

Chained

February 3, 1998

Never have I felt
like a caged bird,
Although on occasion
I’ve been a tethered beast.

A caged bird is allowed to move
and sing within its cage,
but the tethered animal
is restricted more so than the bird.

The animal on the chain
is silenced when it begins to sound.
The bird is free to fly within its prison,
but the beast is held to the ground,

Never to be itself.

Yours

February 3, 1998

The ocean swims and swirls
in your eyes
leaving pools of blue-green beauty
in its wake.
The shimmering sound
of your laughter
echoes like the
ringing of a crystaline chime.
Your smile brings
memories of all that
is beautiful and true
The soft-coloured
presence of your mind
envelops impatiently and
holds me think of
you.

Softly

February 6, 1998

Rose Debutante
fragile and indestructible
softest petals
sweetest fragrance
Pastel warmth
contrasts and soothes
the crimson buds
circling into desire.

Fully

February 13, 1998

Soft embracing colours
surround and hold
beauty in a dynamic
stasis
beauty for beauty
loveliness in loveliness
longing
no longer for
belonging
one returns to whole
one returns to whole
and the whole becomes
itself
and themselves.

Secret

February 24, 1998

Ugly, shivering,
upon the shining steed
he comes looking
for his next officer
a new follower to join
his ranks
of deathless, lifeless warriors
The crimson life he takes
and fills himself
to lead and destroy

Thief

February 25, 1998

Her Eyes cloud over
For the One Who Steals
has done his deed
and leaves nothing
but a shell
He takes what he
does not need
and trails the useless
Avatar behind him.

Crop Circles

March 2, 1998

The with’ring farm
doth grow anew
Though what crop it is
I know not yet
Only sprouts, greenest
I’ve e’er seen
So I cannot yet discern
whether food or weed
grow’th in this pasture

Talicious

March 2, 1998

To begin,
Then end.
Accustomed to,
but not.
Circles all around
Finding some way out
Is all I seem
to think about.
I believe I’ve
found the way
A door I’ve never seen
It looks very inviting
more than it ever has before.

I

March 2, 1998

Talicious Self-Discovery
Finding of the Multiple Whole
Integrating all within
Ordering the Chaos
into that which is.

I stood on the edge of a cliff
I looked down upon the happy people
I wanted to join them
I feared the fall would kill me
I was pushed from behind

I fell

I live

I am among the happy people

Ceradone

March 2, 1998

Ceradonia,
Where do you hide?
I wish I could abide
your absence for a while
longer, though your presence makes me smile
truly, I would that we could speak,
the events of this past week
have given rise to thought
about ideas I haven’t even sought
but there is a single thing I do
know, and that is how I feel for you,
Ceradonia.

Inquisition

March 2, 1998

What colour doth the heavens burn?
What sound doth the Angels sigh?
At the Centre of it all,
can we hear an atom cry?
Followed deep into the Earth,
Are the mountains giving birth
to the life we find abouve?
If a song were then to die
will the artist not know why?

There is a simple answer;

We all know what it is.

You merely have to look for it,

If you wish to lose it.

Please

March 6, 1998

Love me
--------------
Let me love you.
--------------
Love me

Lost

March 10, 1998

Hollow bitterness
and hate
and longing
Alone
and Alone
I find nothing
As I shatter
into these so many pieces
And fall
somewhere
missing
missing that which I have lost
I still feel
I still feel
and continue to lose
I finally lost.

Resolution

March 10, 1998

I speak to no one,
Until I am not alone.
I will only listen,
And learn what is not known.

I seem to be invisible,
No one is like I am.
I wish that I could find someone
Who could just understand.

I will speak to no one,
Until I’m spoken to.
I will no longer listen
The same as others do.

Filled

March 11, 1998

Warmth
filling the cold
filling the empty cold
warm touch
warm words
meaning renewed
respect restored

(Nameless)

March 11, 1998

I wonder in confusion
what will befall
all that I do
and believe
where will it go
and how can I stay
where I am not

If thy name art forever nameless
How art thou referred to?

Single

March 13, 1998

I wish I  weren’t alone
I feel so very alone
though I’m surrounded
by hundreds
No one but me is alone.
I cry tears of loneliness
as I write
and I fall
and fall
and turn deaf
to trivial things
that I don’t have
the energy nor will
to obey.
Save me.

Laughter

March 13, 1998

The laughing
burns and sears
into my heart
I wish that I
could laugh
to laugh instead
of laughing to cover
my sorrow.
I hear the others
laugh and feel
jealousy and bitterness.
Why can’t I laugh?

Distasteful

March 30, 1998

Distinct hatred
for those who know no hate
but only love
the love I cannot know
both of myself and my others
several times denied
the hatred swells and
bursts but comes to nothing
so it builds again and again
for I cannot use what I have
but wish to use that which I do not.

Grief

March 30, 1998

Sullen grieving
leaves me alone and broken
here in my bleeding mind

I sleep not knowing
what I left behind
nor to where I think I’m going

I wish that I could find
the lonely spot that has been made
and fill it with something more than grief.

fall to despair
then raise again
to find no grasp, no hold
and fall again and wait
to find another chance.

Surrounded

March 30, 1998

Overwhelming loss
the loss that fills the heart
with emptiness

I cannot find
though I am searching
Someone to help me find
what I am searching for

My name is lost
inside my mind
like all I use to stay
the person that I think I am
and the person that I’m not

I wish I could be myself
rather than the one I am
for if I could just find the one
I could be everything and more.

Wretched

March 30, 1998

Revolted by beauty
defensive reflex
against the pain
of knowledge
the true
the false
all crumble
and become
ugliness
complete,
whole,
and beautiful.

To Be

March 31, 1998

Now if I fell
to the noiseless ground
beneath the wicked heart
from which I grew
and learn afresh and anew
that love and life sit upon
the highest shelf
of loneliness and meaning
to become myself through myself
and go on to be free

Reborn

March 31, 1998

To sear and burn
the silent tears
that run the streams
and destroy the noiseless
emptiness completed with my heart and mind
to eat the fruit and meat
to fill the heart and soul
Drink ambrosia the sweetest of realities
and deny untruth and fallacy.
taste the bitter scents
surrounding calm and peace
and envision life itself
wrapped in undulating muted flesh

Hyperion

April 2, 1998

Sitting silently, wondering where tomorrow is and why it hasn’t come.
Looking at the sky abouve and wonder if the sun
is at the apex of its arc.
Deciding how to leave one’s mark
upon the world of dreams
and leave it all behind.  Sometimes it seems
as if one’s breath
might be the death
of one so open and despaired
though who is left is a question not often dared
to be asked upon the lonely empty stage
that cleans your life as if a page
has been crumpled wrinkled torn
and thrown away to be reborn
into the sparkling novus mind that cannot think
to become a mind that cannot drink
the sweetest life
behind the closéd doors of strife
and sorrow.
The fortunate are those that borrow
and return the love that others
know too well only smothers
the feelings and hurt surrounding
at the least compounding
all that is lost to us here
and can never reappear

Minor

April 23, 1998

Poignant adjustments
filling me, emptying my soul
leaving me here, where I am
not morose but alone
For I am glad to be here
if only I weren’t the only one
to be
Where I am.

Within

June 5, 1998

Gouge out the wooden eyes
that view upon the soul
Devour and deny the most
Outstanding of accomplishments
Taste the fire of death and life
combined into a single frozen snowflake
Put away the pain of sight
and forget thy vision plain
Look upon the beauty that lies
far abouve the mortal sand
Become the beauty spied
and listen to the comfort found within.

Searching

June 5, 1998

I would that I was blind
so that I could not see
The horrible love that I deny myself
and am tempted by the others’
Feasting in the freedom they allow
for themselves and theirselves
the ones I do not know
the ones I cannot know
the ones I will not know

Obstruction of Dance

September 28, 1998

This Nova in my mind
bursts through
my millions of façades
Shattering all I hope
to hide
destroy the face
as well as the mask
leaving the azure
of my sadness behind
showing me the nothingness
that I am
longing
for some sexual dilettante
in a bizarre
cosmic dance
a waltz in which
I can participate
with one who understands
with whom we can become
one

All contents Copyright © 1998 Joseph Davies